Since you're fond of your base, you must massacre them from a plane.Ĭamels are hilarious. Premise: A bunch of enormous yellow camels are making their way to your base. A far more enjoyable blend of large-chested plastic women and the equestrian lifestyle would be akin to Dead or Alive, only instead of Kasumi and Ryu, it's Barbie and a ruddy great shirehorse.
Of all the things we've envisioned doing with Barbie, having her ride a horse comes right below having her visit a dentist or paint a fence. Premise: Barbie rides a horse, while looking for a flock of other horses that managed to get themselves lost. Best leave her to her own devices, actually. is that a sweater? No, she might just be badly burned. The tongue-twistingly long title for this game does nothing but make us look back on 1989 with fond memories, and worry that we want the pixellated lady to remove her. Premise: In this third-person adult-themed adventure, horny dork Larry tries and fails to seduce women on an island resort, after his girlfriend leaves him for a cannibalistic lesbian slot-machine repairwoman. Leisure Suit Larry 3: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals The title might be sound advice, but a more satisfying game of the same name would involve playing the role of a commando who watches over the sleeping body of Pete Doherty. Premise: A top-down shooter, in which killing creatures from the depths of the cosmos is far more appealing than asking them to explain the mysteries of pi. But we'll never forget the day our pals at GameSpot first told us there was a game called Touch Dic. It's from Korea and is now on the shelves as Touch Dictionary. We want to say this is a game-naming FAIL, but we just can't. Premise: More a tool than a game, Touch Dic is a dictionary and translation title for the Nintendo DS, using the console's touch-happy stylus.
Would you pick Spanky the monkey off the shelf for your kids? All very traditional, all very entertaining.īut come on! Spanky the monkey? Japanese developer Natsume - most famous now for its Harvest Moon titles - was either disastrously fond of Western euphemisms, or simply terrible at picking innocent game names. Throwing these balls is his way of attacking enemies, and at the end of each level there's a boss.
MAN PLAYS BARBIE HORSE ADVENTURES SERIES
Why a series of games never spun off is beyond us - Legs of the Fatman, Ear Canal of the Fatman and Failing Vital Organ of the Fatman all would have been huge winners. The tongues of fat men are indeed compelling. Premise: As an alien of your choice, fight your way through bad guys and ultimately face the Fatman - a hard-ass who needs a healthy portion of defeat.
We begin our journey with game names that are. A truly abysmal name might strangle a game's chances, but it's prime chuckle material and we've lassoed two-and-a-half dozen for your rib-tickling pleasure. They can't all be glorious, action-packed tours de force, however - many videogames are nothing more than half-baked rejects, the 'D' students of the electronic world.īut these particular 30 dunces weren't merely bad - they were never given a chance at success because they suffered epic fails from the moment their titles were conceived.
They're terrific ways to forget that in real-life, like gardens, commitments require regular attention. Without videogames, many of us would have lives, children and permanent jobs.
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